I am Sorry….

In light of recent events in my life I wish to share how I feel about certain issues and maybe clarify some things. I have come to a place of humility and first wish to openly apologize to any and all of my LBGT friends. I am truly sorry if you have ever felt any amount of judgment from me at any time and on any level. I am sorry if you have ever felt that I do not accept you the way God has made you or the way you have chosen to live your life. I am sorry if you have ever felt that I have tried to change you or that I want you to be different. If you ever felt any of these things from me please come to me. I want to know so I can make it right. It was never my intention. I promise. And I hope you will forgive me. I also want you to know that this is not me defending myself. There is not defence for hurt feelings. This is me clearing the air.

I know I can be confusing because how I feel about people is sometimes in opposition with how I feel about certain issues or topics. Believe me, I am aware of these things. Over the years I have tried to reconcile the two but have yet to reach a place where I am standing still.

What specifically triggered this post is this video: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/12/06/a-tale-of-two-moms-a-teenage-son-and-a-video-that-wouldn-t-die.html

In all honesty I do not know where I stand on gay marriage. Because I feel differently about it depending on the person. And maybe that is not fair but it is where I am at. And I do not know where I stand on gay couples raising children. I know that if anyone told my friends Daniel and Charlie they could not raise children because they are gay I would be devastated for them. I am not asking for opinions or advice (not that I am closed to it). I am not looking to be persuaded one way or the other. I am just clearing the air. If you are wondering, this is where I am at.

Now What I do know is this:

“There is power in the blood of Christ,
power not only to create worlds and part the Red Sea but also to still the storms of the human heart. There is power in Christ to bring about a sudden and miraculous change in a person’s life and also the power to bear one’s burdens with dignity and strength until one’s mortal life is finished. God alone knows why some who suffer are delivered immediately from their suffering, why others pass away, and why yet others continue on earth to face the traumas of this second estate. We cling to the surpernal promise from Him who is the Peacegiver, the Balm of Gilead, that He will heal us, whether here or hereafter. “For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor percieved by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him” (Isaiah 64:4). Each of us wrestles with something. Perhaps it is our complexion, the shape of our bodies, our intellectual challenges, or same-gender attraction. To attempt to compare crosses is both unwise and counterproductive, for only He who knows all things can discern the depths of the individual human soul. We have not been promised a stress-free existence or a life of leisure. We have, however, the unimpeachable testimony of One who descended below all things and thus who knows what is in the heart of each of us that relief is real, that delieverance is definite. The Master becons to us: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon me you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). (DB)

I know that if you have a wound of any kind that Jesus Christ can heal you. If words or actions of others (including my own) have beat you down that He can lift you up. I know that all of you do not believe as I do. That is ok. I do not judge you for believing differently than me because I love you. I just wanted to make it clear what I do know and what I do not know. What I have confused feelings about and what I do not. You are welcome to take it or leave it. And if you leave it…I hope you are still leaving with my love. Dang Bruno Mars who stole my line….but I do love you just the way you are!

Nicole

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About nicolemd

I am an ordianry girl living an ordinary life and learning to love it. This blog is part of my personal process of discovering myself, who I have always been, the divine in me. It is part of my commitment to returning. View all posts by nicolemd

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