Category Archives: Love life

Family Reunion

the only thing missing is TROY LEISHMAN –the other love of my life.

So here is the skinny: I had Saturday off. Liz was giving a talk in church on Sunday. Andrew was willing to drop everything and come with me. Liz and Rocklyn are worth driving 8 hours on friday to spend Saturday with and then drive 8 hours home on Sunday. The end. It’s a lovely story. Actually… it’s a love story. President Harold B. Lee taught that “the most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.” In this family our home is located in our hearts. That is where we live and where we love. Anytime we can close the gap of physical distance that is what we do. December Liz and Rocky are coming to stay with me. January there will be fireball. To Colorado or bust!

Family Picture Rocklyn, Liz, Andrew and Nicole

When Andrew and I arrived in Longmont it was LATE. We read scriptures, said our prayers and then Liz and I talked poor little Andrew to sleep. 7am came fast. Liz and I dressed in black leggings, red tees and put our hair in side ponies. We had an 80s dance party with Rocklyn until we woke Andrew up at 9. “Girls….Girls….Girls….”

We got ready for our day and then headed out to Sandy’s farm. I want to live on a farm and have a house like Sandy’s. That is my happy place. We went to a toy store. Walked Pearl Street and had lunch. On the way the wee ones (Andrew and Rocklyn) slept. We went to dinner that night with Leslie, Sandy and Alexander. After Rocky went to bed that night we played music for a few hours and Liz wrote her talk. We stayed up until 3 ish in the morning talking and being goofy. Lots of fart and poop stories. Liz was almost dropped down the “laundry s***,” I was smacked in the mouth and Andrew could have died in a fire. Pretty much we had the best time ever:) On Sunday Andrew made us breakfast and we went to church where Liz gave a beautiful talk on gratitude. oh. And Rocklyn peed on Andrew!!

But alas, it was time for us to head back to Provo. In Colorado we took a little shortcut on a gravel road. Before we entered Owl Canyon we stopped at a little gas station for a bathroom break. The Land was so beautiful we had to take a picture. There was a road that looked so inviting but it was in the opposite direction of where we needed to go. Andrew, in what I like to think in his desire to please me and make me happy, said that we could travel down it for 10 minutes before we headed on our way again. When we detoured on our little adventure we discovered a little park. Andrew took a little dip in the river. haha. But it was so great and relaxing!

We found cows

The trip was great. And just what we all needed. Thank you Heavenly Father for these beautiful people in my life. Please can we all be best friends forever?

LIZ, You are a wonderful friend. Thank you for letting me come to visit you and your daughter. You are an amazing parent and the perfect example of what intentional parenting is. I hope one day I can be as good as a mother as you are. Thank you for being patient with me. For listening to my same sob stories over and over and always validating my feelings. Thank you for creating a space for me to let my guard down. Our 80s dance party was one of my favorite! What can I say… girls just want to have fun! My life is fuller with you and Rocklyn in it.

Andrew, You are a wonderful friend and a great man. I feel very blessed to not only know you but to have you as a best friend, as family. Thank you for continuing to put up with me and my crazy. Thank you for being a safe place for me to fall, to make mistakes, to share my secrets and express what is really going on inside this head and heart of mine. I think you are one of the smartest people I know. You have a big heart. I believe in you. P.s. You do have daddy fingers;)

Rocklyn, You are a wonderful friend. You love everyone and do not judge. What an example you are to the world of what acceptance and friendship really mean. You know how to have a good time. I always have so much fun when I am around you. I know I can tell you anything. Thank you for loving me, remembering me, and praying for me. I know Heavenly Father has big plans for you. I am excited to watch them unfold. I miss you and will see you again soon!

yours, yours and yours, nicole xoxo

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Lesson on Love #1

Remember in the movie Beatle Juice when Geena Davis opens the front door of her home only to find that her neighborhood has been replaced with a giant desert of sand and a monster worm? That is kinda how I see my life right now. Minus the desert and worm that is. I am standing at my front door looking out into my world and nothing is familiar.

This summer (like most) brings change. I love it and I hate it. I am excited but do not know how to deal with it. I am a mess.

I am surrounded by wonderful people and opportunities. Yet the ones who know me best are no longer here. I feel unneeded. Where is my place? I am once again a wonderer in a strange land.

I had a long talk with Heavenly Father in the car tonight. I think one of the great lessons He is trying to teach me is love. If you know me you know loving is one thing I am good at…or so I like to think. I have a friend. I know Heavenly Father loves him no matter what. I just know this. I know that God is doing everything in His power while respecting agency to take care of Him. Heavenly Father loves my friend freely. His almighty love requires nothing in return. This is the kind of love God has for all of his children not just a select few. This is even how God loves me. And because He does so can I. I can love others with the pure selfless love that Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ have.

So I might no longer have a “place” or know what is going to happen when I step outside but I do know that I can love. And that is my plan.


True Love

‎”To love one another may not be everything, but everything will be nothing without this love… The love the Lord is speaking about is the love that places the other person, the object of love, higher than one’s self…” Elder Busche


Making things better…

This week has been a big lesson on making things better for other people.
Sometimes I am not in a position to help. Sometimes I am but I shouldn’t. Sometimes others will not let me help. Sometimes I just do not know how. What I do know is that I want to make things better. Sometimes I think the worst suffering is watching someone you love suffer.

You’re getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder
And I don’t understand, and I don’t understand
But if I kiss you where it’s sore
If I kiss you where it’s sore
Will you feel better
Will you feel anything at all…

It makes me frustrated. I know that sometimes I get in the mood where I refuse to feel better. I hate it when others are that way. JUST LET ME KISS YOU WHERE IT IS SORE (thank you Regina)!!!! IT MIGHT NOT MAKE THINGS CHANGE OR GO AWAY BUT I PROMISE YOU WILL FEEL BETTER!

Let me love you out of your sadness. At least for a time. Or let me listen to your sorrow with you. I am really good at sitting and snuggling. I have all this love inside me and it can be put to good use.

I know that there are many many things that only God can satisfy. If you cannot let me in please let HIM in. I promise He will take care of you. In fact He will do a way better job than I ever could. After all, He is your Father.


She Will Live In Your Bounty

EVA MARIE BYERLY

Believe that she matters!
And Believe that she always will!
She will always be with you!
She’ll be part of the days you’ve yet to fill!
She will live in your bounty!
She will live as you carry on your life!
So carry on, Full of Hope, She’ll be there,
For all your Days of Plenty


So I am reading this book….

I am reading this book and love it love it love it. I typed this quote up for a friend and decided to post it. I am sure other will follow. Feel free to let me know what your thoughts are.

We need to know what we’re looking for in a partner, and we should never believe that our love (or nagging) has the power to create something that wasn’t there to begin with. Nor should we ever marry for love alone. We need to examine our core values and beliefs (what really matters to us in a partner), so that we know where we can compromise and where we can’t.

How we each compromise is a deeply personal matter. No one else can know whether you should disqualify a potential partner because he or she lacks something important to you: money, good looks, reliability, humor, personal hygiene, an erotic imagination, warmth, a love for the outdoors, or tidy personal habits. Such decisions (“Is she the one?” “Am I compromising too much?”) can be excruciatingly difficult to make, but no one else can do this work for us. The clarity of our voice rests on the clarity of our self-awareness regarding what we want and feel entitled to, and what we are willing to settle for. It can take time, patience, conversation, and silent meditation or reflection to sort this out.

Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate


All I can say is THANK YOU

This week has been rough.  I am not going to get into the details.  Just saying, it was rough.  Today I have been venting about how things have been going and to be honest, I feel completely justified in doing so.

But tonight in my prayers I realized how wonderful things really are.  I am nothing. I really am nothing.  I am going to stop pretending that I deserve anything.  But God in His great mercy has blessed me with the most beautiful, the most wonderful people in my life.  I have great friends.  I am a sucky friend.  I don’t call.  I nag.  I tell the truth in a not gentle way.  I am rude. I nag.   I forget about important things.  I am always telling my friends what they should be doing.   oh and I nag.

I get to see and or talk to people I love every day and the best part is that these people love me back!  All I want to do is serve them and love them in return.